October 11, 2024 | Episode 4
Description:
Are you caught in the endless chase for validation? Whether it’s from social media, friends, or even your own self-talk, the need for approval can feel overwhelming—and the Internet’s solution of *self-validation* just doesn’t work for everyone. In this episode, I dive deep into why internal validation isn’t the magical fix it’s made out to be and why chasing external validation is a normal, human experience.
But here’s the truth: the ultimate validation doesn’t come from people or even yourself. It comes from something far greater—your Creator. I’ll share the reasons why faith is the missing piece in the validation puzzle and offer hope for those who feel stuck in the cycle. 🤍
If you’re ready to stop chasing temporary approval and want to learn how to ground your identity in something unshakable, this episode is for you! 💪🏽
Show Notes
Summary
Validation has become quite the buzzword these days. People-pleasing, approval addiction, external and internal validation, seeking praise, etc. This shouldn’t really be a surprise. To an observant person, this is the obvious product of the “promotion of self” on social media.
In this episode we’re gonna break down external and internal validation and if they are needed and how much is too much or too little. I give plenty of examples, starting from childhood and working our way up to adulthood. We all know we need validation, but how we get it, who it comes from and the truth of the statements have gotten a lot of people worked up.
The self-help and self-improvement industries are big money makers, so together we’ll examine what’s out there and sift through conflicting ideas to make sense of it all. I give hope towards the end as it is not a lost cause, people have just lost their way. . .
The Self-Help Paradox
“Me” culture and our social media highlight reels started this. Everything shouts that we should seek likes, followers, and praise from others. Now we have a couple of generations, suffering from approval addiction. The remedy given is internal validation. On the surface, it sounds better to seek approval from ourselves than others, but the unfortunate reality is that it is not. Many people have the same question- What do I do about my negative thoughts about myself? The answer leaves more people confused.
External Validation is necessary
We can’t condemn something that as inherently wrong when we clear as day see it in infants. Since we were children, we’ve been looking to our community for validation. It starts with family, then school, work, and so on. Humans were meant for community, so we need to know if our behavior is correct for the society we’re leaving in. This is one of the basic defenses for external validation.
One of the biggest ways its gone wrong is people telling us “nice” things to make us feel better. Sugarcoating may feel good at the time, but its superficiality leaves people feeling more confused. External validation is best coming from a person we know and means something to us, who will tell us the truth in love, whether its good or bad.
The Failures of Internal Validation
We are being told now to seek internal validation to build ourselves up instead of seeking it from others. It can be gratifying work, but just go online and see how many people are exhausted from trying and many don’t believe the things they say to themselves. The answer is internal validation paired with positive affirmations with no regard for self-examination.
Self-help gurus and motivational speakers are slinging these empowering statements to you online, but then when you try them yourself the first thing you notice are all of your weaknesses and not your strengths. If your self-examination reveals negative things, just throw them out. Where is the truth in that?!
When we’re told external validation is approval addiction and internal validation is unbelievable for us, what are we left with?
Real validation comes from our Creator
The powerful reality is that we seek validation because we seek our identity. Many people’s identities are formed from other people’s ideas of them and that may not seem authentic to us. Our most innate desire is to be loved and accepted. Self-love just won’t ever feel as good as being loved by another.
We are looking for love and validation in the wrong places. Only our Creator knows who we are and all of our strengths and weaknesses. Only He loves us for exactly who we are.
Give it a try 💪🏽🤍
Build somebody up! Give someone a meaningful compliment about their personality, character or the way they make you feel.
Scripture Verses
Psalm 139:13-14 | Galatians 1:10 | John 12:43 | Romans 8:31 | John 14:27
Articles
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